Friday, July 17, 2009 , 2:16 AM

oh-kay.
super-pissed.
i am lagging behind in class
i slack everyday in front of the computer
and i cant do rolls.
WTF/.
and i failed the damn napfa.
i am a complete failure.
i suck.
at everything.
what am i good in?
sucking at every single thing i do.
i dunno how
just how things can turn out right
they probably will never.
LangArts is okay.
HCL is okay.
Geography is below average.
History is boring.
Science is fine.
Maths is okay.
French is above average.

but at least,
i understand during Computer Lesson
i understand during D&T
two subjs which i totally flunked last time.
consolation, huh?
and barely few weeks into the new term,
tests and exams and whatever shit are already round the corner.
and here i am
slacking like a sloth while others are mugging like scholars.
i am an absurd failure
i hate every single moron beside me
but at least i have people who i can call 'friends'
is life really such a double-edged sword?
is it such a carousel, rollercoaster, mountains and valleys?
must it be analogies?
why can't life just be, LIFE?
what is WRONG with me?
everything.
has going to secondary school turned me into a pessimist?
pfft.
pfft.
or is it a change in my mentality?
i never faced such adversities in primary school
6 years flashed by like a breeze.
now 6 months in sec sch feels like... eternity.

oh dear D:
i really need to find out what's wrong with me D:
am i really that emo-freak?
emo-ing cos' i suck at PE and everybody laughs at me.
is there ANYONE out there who really appreciates me?
or am i probably just too quiet?
whenever i talk,
people usually have this response:
HUH?
freaking grunts.
i am an anti-social faggort.
and an unappreciated one at that.
if i cannot cope at 13, how can i cope at 30?
i probably will just experience mental distress/breakdown
and just fly into a frenzy
and then.. oblivion.
displeased.
pissed.
unhappy.
i dunno how many adjectives i can list to describe my feelings now.
and i seriously hate PE.
i mean, i have never really liked PE all my life..
although playing games like badminton tennis blablabla r ok..
and i seriously, seriously hate it when people call me a sissy or a gay
i mean, i don't give thucks to whether you're joking or not.
but it's seriously insulting.
see? i'm really pissed.
maybe i'll follow the british in india.
blow those people up into pieces using brandon's mighty tank
(which name i totally forgot T_T)
haha lol.
maybe i'm not that pessimistic after all.
i don't wanna end up like "erm-herm and erm-herm"
who totally changed after one month in their CCA.
i wanna make the best of my life.
yes, i do.
so yay.
i just wanna escape from secondary school
and go into uni.
i wanna go to B.
and i'm not telling you what B is.
arh, too long a post.
better stop here.
farewell, you minced meats.

*astrum : (latin) a celestial body, such as a star, or a planet.

tis for those curious maggots who wanna know what astrum is.

Random poem i came up with in 2 mins (lol):
" i see the moonlight fleeting through
the curtain sheets of boisterous blue
i sit hear in my bed and think
of what might come when i wake up
i think of beauty fairies, trees
and all things bright and beautiful.
but with them comes the darker side
of cruelty, struggle and the fight.
with everyday comes a different face
of what our lives turn out to be
with everyday comes a test of faith
to see if we give in
without hope we must see the light
live our lives and live with pride."

lol kinda sounds like a pledge, doesn't it?
oh well bye for now.
gotta put my words and plan into action
AU REVOIR!